DERANGED-YOU OR THE WORLD

DERANGED-YOU OR THE WORLD
It's quite a long read. Do proceed only if you are suffering from extremely painful bouts of boredom, which i guess is the reason why you are here in the first place.


The clouds kept thundering. The earthly creatures kept scurrying.
Luminosity of the day had begun to fade to give dawn to a cancerous darkness.
The rain had started pelting down hard. A passing vegetable vendor gave refuge to many under his blue-plastic canopy. The water bounced off the roof of a footpath–encroaching store and fell directly onto the face of these shelter seekers. This in turn earned the storeowner wrath of these irate refugees. . A genetic aversion to public fights and roadside arguments led me to flee the cover and rush off aimlessly.

Running frantically for nothing in particular, trying to save myself from the downpour of rain and pain, I chanced upon a neglected cover. A defunct bulldozer in its last days had been parked quite oddly outside a clutter of tumbledown slums. I circled the bulldozer and found the upside down shovel large enough to accommodate my thin build. I got holds of the rusted cover and pushed it on to my side and with much I strain managed to crouch myself and get some shelter over my head.

I had company.

Rounded, shining and beautiful brown eyes welcomed me in. Its undeterred stare made me stutter a bit but the gleam of the eyes seemed more welcoming than the torrential downpour of pain.

I unconsciously felt for my cell phone. Flipped it open and shone it on the eyes. A juvenile, dark skinned boy gave me the coldest stare.

I fumbled and fidgeted with the backlight of my cell for a while. The boy coldly asked,

“kya dekh raha hain be”

“Kuch nahin”, I replied.

The boy wasn’t appreciative of my intrusion. I gingerly stepped closer and squatted clumsily onto the ground.

Sharp pointed pebbles sprayed on the floor made me squirm but didn’t make the pain on my rear evident on my face. I think the boy let out an impish smile on seeing me blunder and fumble. Out of fear he probably didn’t know.

Awkwardness unsettles you. The numbing silence amidst the disorder of the world seemed unnerving.

Both of us stared into blankness, uncomfortable of each other’s presence. Both of us were intruding the other’s space, both of us wanted to reach out and grab the other person’s hand. Haven’t you ever felt the need to feel physical touch when you are not quite sure who is the one deranged- you or the world. In such nights a stranger’s cold vibes seem quite comforting.


Five minutes of numbing silence had to be broken by the clumsy fall of electric thunders. The boy let out a spontaneous shiver. I didn’t. I let out a smirk at being the braver one. I was just kidding myself.

No sooner than the smile had started to fade from my face that the boy now had a reason to smile mockingly at me. A rat scurried by looking for companionship and I flinched quite girlishly.

Both hiding under a long abandoned bulldozer were trying to see who gave way first. Judging each other in silence and silently letting out a sardonic smile at every possible show of fear and fright.

Both scared, both not teen enough to admit it.


The boy had enough.

“Teri phatt rahi hain na”

“Kya”

I replied with disgust at the audacity of the kid to term me a scary cat.

How dare he. How could he have possibly known?

“Haan, teri path rahi mujhe pata hain. Tu toh apne pant main hi muut dega”

“Oye chutiye, chup reh. Phat toh teri rahi hain. Tu toh apne chaddi main hi hug dega”

We had lost it. So had the night.

Lips sealed again. Both of us edged closer consciously and unconsciously. The pungent odor of his body otherwise would have given me nausea but today it soothed the tempest in my head. Knowing someone was around, knowing someone was around to see me burst into tears any moment.

I couldn’t help myself anymore.

I asked sheepishly.

“teri kyun phat rahi hain itni”

He retorted back

“tujhe kya karna hain. Bol tujhe kya.”

“Bas aise hi. Kyun problem kya hain”

He remained quite this time around. The conversation was temporarily allaying our fears away. We liked that.

He then muttered

“mujhe apni ma se darr lag raha hain”

I was surprised.

“Woh daategi agar main abhi aise bheeg ke jayega”

I said
“Unko pasand nahin kya tu bheegta hain”


He raised an eyebrow at the respect I gave in referring to his mother.

He replied

“Haan. Saala mera bhai bhi isi tarah mara tha”

I was scared again.

He took a pause. Almost trying to come in terms with what he had just said to a stranger.

His started muttering to himself.

“Woh pura raat bheega tha. Wapas ghar aaya toh cheek raha tha. Fir raat ko bukhar aagaya. Pura raat rota gaya. Doctor saala paisa maangta raha. Tab tak saala bhagwan wait kahan karta. Bhenchod saala”



I gave a slight pat on his shoulder. I could see he was craving for some human touch. I couldn’t dare deny him that. Balls to class divide.

He was still sobbing. Though, a little less slower. He looked up and asked,

“Teri kyun phat rahi hain”

“Bas aiise hi. Baarish pasand nahin”

“Aacha nahin lagta.”

I took a deep breath. I wanted to go on and tell him how the rains made me feel weak and insufficient.

But he had already started nodding his head. He understood what I meant. Didn’t he? Why else would he nod?

He kept on nodding. I wasn’t even saying a word. He just kept on nodding.

What was I saying to which he was nodding, quite ferociously now, and giving his approval?

The rain had now ceased. I heard a vehicle park itself nearby.

Reckless and hurried footsteps advanced towards us.

Suddenly a hand uncovered our shelter and got hold of the boy and dragged him up.

A mustached man with muscles coming out in heaps, wearing all white appeared in front of us. He was breathing heavily. He started hurling abuses in Marathi, which I didn’t quite catch.

“Aiiii zawli. Kutriya. Bhenchodd
Bhaagega saala maadarchodd.
Pagla saala. kahan bhagega. tu usi haspataal main marega
Kutriye madar….”

The frantic screams of the boy saying nothing in particular just screaming out Ma muted the rest of his abuses.

I didn’t react. I just lay motionless watching the burly man shove the child into an ambulance van while continuously smacking him on the head.

The van sped away.

I could still hear him calling out his mom.

In such nights you wonder who is the one deranged- you or the world.